In The News
This piece was originally published in the Star on 14 June 2007.
Different and diverse
Eva San and Hwa Yi Xing
By embracing diversity, we can learn to understand, and not fear, each other.
LELAKI lembut ! Cannot, cannot. Send them to pusat pemulihan (rehabilitation centre) now!"
"Yes, with counselling and testosterone injections, they can be cured ..."
Cured, we say. Sometimes, we think that our own way is the right way - the only way one should be allowed to be, the only way one should be allowed to behave, believe, think and identify. Imagine, a perfect world of clones where everybody agrees and there is no such thing as war...
But we don't live in that world. We live in Malaysia, a society crammed full of wonderfully diverse cultures, ethnicities, races, religions, sexualities and gender identities. But we still find it very hard at times to deal with diversity in its different forms.
As a society, we self-regulate - we collectively determine what is and what is not acceptable. When you buy your baby girl cute pink pyjamas and your baby boy blue ones, when you stare at the androgynous person walking down the street, when you help a stranger chase down a cell phone thief, or when you decide to beat a red light - all these actions have an impact. You are sending a message to other Malaysians about what their fellow Malaysians do.
We perpetuate stereotypes when we say things like: "Of course, most men look at pornography, " or "Ya lah , they're boys, sure will fight one," or "Aiya, that girl so emotional," or "Hey, don't be so gay."
But your little boy might actually prefer pink pyjamas; lots of women look at porn, too; girls fight; the emotional males may just be hiding behind a macho surface; and you might really offend someone by telling them to be "not be so gay" because, you know ... there are lots of people out there who are gay.
To be more precise, there are lots of queer people out there. Mak nyahs , transsexuals, cross-dressers, gay men, lesbians, people who feel neither male nor female, intersexuals with ambiguous genitalia ... the list goes on. The term queer refers to anyone who does not come under the "normal", heterosexual category.
Most of us continually reinforce a society where heterosexuality, getting married, having kids, etc., is the norm. In terms of sexuality, specifically, everyone who is not heterosexual is considered abnormal, immoral and unacceptable.
Each time we differentiate people as unacceptable, we should remember that our actions affect the quality of their lives. We are all entitled to our own opinions, but how well have we thought them through, and why do we hold on to them?
We are the ones who attach negative and positive meanings to things said and done. We make judgments based on our own personal values and experiences, conveniently forgetting that everyone else has theirs, too.
What does it really mean to be a part of a diverse, multi-everything society?
Assuming that most of us don't really want to live in a society of clones, perhaps we could start getting used to the idea that manypeople are not like ourselves. We need to learn to understand people who are different from us. What we do not understand, scares us, and then causes us to act irrationally. Let's not cultivate a society of fear - let's learn to embrace diversity.
Eva San and Hwa Yi Xing will both be attending Fiesta Feminista this weekend.
